Free from mental slavery

Sitting here reading up on the many nations that raped the land of my ancestors…Africa. Having been displaced, not knowing my true identity and being enlightened on my rich heritage that was stolen, i expected my first reaction to be anger and hatred towards the perpetrators but unlike the savage they presumed we were, i feel a sense of pride and a sense of urgency to spread the good news of my heritage to the world.
The more educated we become, the more we free our selves from mental slavery.

2011
01/28
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Africa
college lifestyle
education
Relationship
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Wishing

More than half the time i blog i don’t know what i am going to write about and today is one such day. All i know is that i  want to say something. Where do i start? Well, i am sitting in on my boyfriend’s bed, he is at work and i should be preparing to leave for school which starts on Monday. I miss my friends, who have the wildest time with but it is still hard to leave my love nest.

I am addicted to my boyfriend he is handsome, sexy and with an amazing personality. We’ve been together for 3 yrs in this long distance relationship. I never dream that we would be together this long but i sure did wish it. I believe that if you want something really bad and you think about it everyday, it will come through. Just try it you would be surprise. It is just like having faith, believing that which haven’t materialized as yet.

So now I’m wishing that we stay together and have a happy life. Lets see if this one will come through.

2010
09/01
CATEGORY
Pj
Relationship
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Why are we here?

Francis Bok, former Sudanese slave. At the age...

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Good day Strangers,

My boyfriend is struggling with a question that everyone asks at some point in their life. “Why are we here?”  I don’t know the answer to this and it is so hard watching him go through this daily, not knowing his purpose, where he is going and where he is coming from. Slavery displaced many of us blacks and many of us are still finding it difficult to move on. If you don’t know your past, how can you have a future. I believe this is the root of most of the problems plaguing black communities.

As for me, i try to just live the best life i can here on earth. I try to find fulfillment in helping others, praying, spending time with love ones, giving thanks and appreciating life for what it is. I told my boyfriend to try Jesus, but he doesn’t believe that religion is the answer and i can’t blame him. I pray he finds his way.

We go to school, study hard, trying to pass our exams so we can enter college. Then comes college with all the expenses, we continue to struggle until we get that degree. So now it is time for the dream job, getting it is another struggle, then you struggle to keep it. Followed by kids and a partner, more stress trying to grow them the proper way and giving them the best life. You accomplish this goal, but now you are sick, time to die. So why are we here, to struggle then die?

2010
08/31
CATEGORY
God
Relationship
religion
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Anti-christianity

Christian Bible, rosary, and crucifix.

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Many Christians are afraid of exposing themselves to the many beliefs out there and the ever-growing number of antiChristianity arguments in circulation. And i understand why they are afraid it is kind of scary watching people tear apart the GOD you hold in reverence, just blatantly belittling him.

I grew up in a Christian home and i undoubtedly have benefited from this association. However it did not protect me from the dangers of this world. I can’t blame the  religion i have to blame the Christians.  In fact the religion teaches, love and all these good stuff. But those who profess to uphold these principles are the ones who are failing the world today. We are humans i believe no one can uphold all these principles, all Christians have faltered but if they would just admit it and share their struggles with the world people would better relate to them.

It is time to put away the falseness because the world is seeing right through it! I believe in God and i am always excited to hear others view on spirituality because many of them do have a point. But this spiritual journey is something you have to do on your own because when you have a personal experience with God nothing can dissuade you. And you can now share your experience with others.

2010
08/20
CATEGORY
God
jesus
My saviour
Prayer
religion
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He works in every situation!

Recently I’ve had some boyfriend issues, i knew what i needed to do to solve the problem but i was afraid to lose my bf in the process of setting him straight.

The issue is that of late he has become very disrespectful, withdrawn and selfish. These are clear signs that he is either cheating, bored, wants to move or something else. Whatever the reason is, these signs were not good and i wasn’t going to tolerate it anymore.

Luckily i know what a man wants and i know how to help him realize what he wants. And what he wants is me because i am a good woman! If you are in a serious relationship with a man who loves you and wants to make a commitment to you and then you see him acting up, don’t give up on him just let him know what he has and will be losing.

I may not go to church or am i what people consider righteous but i believe in God and i apply the principles of the Bible in my everyday life and the Bible was saying don’t be anxious of Anything and i believe my bf falls in the “anything” category. So i didn’t panic, i thought this through and dealt with him.

So when he called me being rude i just gently told him bye and did not accept or return his calls for a week. He thinks he is tough and after realizing on the first day that i was ignoring him he tried not to call. This got me a bit scared wondering if he was going to move on or something but i remembered that i should not be anxious, i should be at peace knowing God is working it out. So i waited it out and refuse to give in and call him. I posted statuses on Facebook indicating that I was moving on and looking for my prince. I posted pictures of me going out with friends having a great time knowing he couldn’t handle it because I am what he wants.

Next the text messages started and the apologies kept coming. Then when he thought he was actually losing me then came the tears and I knew he was genuine. I didn’t just take him back I laid down the rules and let him know not to take a good woman for granted because I could be gone in a minute.

Now he is attentive, romantic, just amazing and the love is stronger than ever! God can work in any and every area of our life! Lets not put him in a box or believe he will not listen to you. He always comes through for me i love him and i am grateful that my saviour looks at the desires of my heart and see that they are genuine. I refuse to judge people thinking only those who go to church every Sunday have a relationship with the Almighty. Anyone can! Try Him!

2010
08/19
CATEGORY
God
jesus
My saviour
Pj
Relationship
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Spiritual Journey

Dear Stranger,

Something strange happens to me whenever i read the Bible, i always seem to find a scripture that applies to the situation i am in. I don’t know if i am the only one experiencing this but i find it amazing.  I know when you talk about Jesus, the Bible and religion these days you are looked upon as a fanatic. But i can’t resist sharing this experience and so much more, i want the world to feel what i am feeling. I am not trying to impose my belief on anyone, i just hope persons will take the time to examine their spiritual side, trust me, it will be rewarding.

I am not sure if i am a Christian or if i want to be. I believe in the Bible, but i don’t believe i need to be under any religious umbrella to find what i am looking for. Whenever i try to look at religion i just get so confuse, so i am leaving that one for the theologians. When i  pray i do not know if i should say God, which ironically spells dog back ways so i really dislike that term, i don’t know if i should say Jesus, Yahweh, Jehovah, Lord….. So i say the Almighty! Because he his mighty, unstoppable, nonprogrammable, all knowing, awesome, caring, wise, holy…… Finding your Saviour is a journey you alone can take, it is personal. It is about building a relationship.

I want to leave these words with you, be anxious about nothing, be at peace knowing that the Almighty is in control and is working it out for you. This helps me a lot!

Let me know what your journey is like maybe u can help me to understand the things i am not clear  on. Thanks much!

2010
08/18
CATEGORY
God
jesus
My saviour
Prayer
Relationship
religion
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Searching

I am about to start a spiritual journey. One i knew i had to undertake at some point to find myself and true happiness. I know many persons have done this before and failed, while others think it is useless. I don’t want anyone to tell me where to find happiness, i’m going to find it on my own. I don’t know what i’ll discover but i am willing to go for the ride.

2010
08/11
CATEGORY
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He is my substitute for ganga

Another weekend with my man. It didn’t live up to the mind blowing experience i had the last time he visited. My sexual urges sky rocketed and his plummeted, its like we were on two different planets. Well i have to give thanks for we had little to no arguments, in fact we had more of a romantic connection. However, when the romance start i want some. How can he expect me to satisfy with one round when he is such a damn eye candy? I would rape this man…actually i tried and succeeded several times*laughing*. I’m so bad!!!!! Guess he can’t resist me.

So now i’m back home and lonely, wishing he was here to hold me. But i’ll just spoon my pillow tonight. Think i’m addicted to my hubby.  I can’t cheat, no one else looks attractive, this is so not me. It has been three years, thought these feelings would disappear by now. Guess i’m one of the lucky few or is it the distance? Well if it is the distance i’m gonna enjoy every second of this relationship, loving him like ( can’t find an expression), like…..like….like….like no words can explain. Can’t believe i’m speechless, so not me again. what is he doing to me, like some voodoo shit. My man got a spell on me, i know what it is, it is the way he do it like no other. He loves me like i’m the queen i am. He ain’t stressing me out because he is not insecure. I just love a confident, “cocky” man. He knows i’m his, so he isn’t worried about me giving away the goodies.
I wish everybody could experience this. I’m high all the time and i’m not even smoking weed. He is my substitute for ganga.

2010
07/05
CATEGORY
Pj
Relationship
sex
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Sizzling weekend

My Boo Pj, spent the weekend with me and it was awesome! It surpassed all my fantasies and i have some mind blowing fantasies. I felt loved and wanted. He just could not get enough of me and neither could i. Immersed myself in his love, trying to hold on to every moment of it, knowing i would soon have to let go. It was painful to watch him go, so much so, that i couldn’t bare to walk him to the door. It was like just leave right now before i flood this room with tears.

There are perks that comes with being in a long distance relationship. One is that i am free to live like a single woman and have the benefits of a relationship when i need one. However, this does not substitute for what i miss when my love is away. He is the glue that holds everything in my life together. When he is away i don’t know what to do…i’m just all over the place.

I get all types of emotions, joy, anger, i’m just up and down, hot then cold. When he calls sometimes he gets the wrath of it all. I am glad to have someone who understands and can handle me. Many have tried but had to run away  :-). I can’t say he haven’t tried to run away too, but luckily, our love won’t let him.

I know he is the one so i’m giving this distance a fight. I’ve seen it destroy so many relationships, but not mine. Something else will have to end this, but not the “distance”. I am an overcomer not a quitter. The best thing is that i’m not fighting alone. One person can’t make a relationship work.

I block out the haters who say it won’t work. I just cut them off, they are like poison. I have enough on my plate…to hell with that negative energy. I surround myself with people who are positive, optimistic, see a problem but also a solution, people who genuinely cares.

Everything isn’t perfect and that makes it interesting. Sorry, but i don’t want a perfect relationship, for i won’t grow. It is amazing to watch your love blossom and reminisce on the good and bad times. This brings us closer, it gives us the feeling of accomplishing something together.

I want to see the fruits of this relationship so i’m putting my best foot forward, keeping my fingers and toes crossed and hoping for the best!

2010
06/29
CATEGORY
Pj
Relationship
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reprimanded on the job sucks!

Being reprimanded at work is hard to deal with. I was reprimanded today for giving out too much info to an assistant. In reflection i see that i am so wrong and admitting that you are wrong is not an easy pill to swallow when you want to defend your actions. But i swallowed my pride and be a woman. I was called in my manager’s office which is not unusual. I got the vibe that something was wrong when i saw her secretary and another employee vacating the office so we would be alone. I was like what the hell did i do now?
She asked me to sit which refused i kindly, she rolled those eyes looking up over her glasses and the lecture started. I stood there looking at her but i was not there, i had to tune her out to not show how much i wanted to kick my own ass. I apologized and took the walk of shame back to my little area.
I felt like crap for the entire day. The worst part is that i had to continue working close to her for the rest of the day which i find awkward given that she just told me what an idiot i am. Tomorrow i am off and i am so excited! I put on my poker face acting like all is good but inside i am pissed!
I won’t be repeating this mistake for sure. Hope it doesn’t cost me my internship here.

2010
06/23
CATEGORY
college lifestyle
Relationship
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